Looks Like that Maths Degree is Paying Off After All

This is pretty much a companion piece to my rambling last week about my pile of unread books. I also happen to have a MOUNTAIN of unwatched DVDs and recordings.

Despite having a minimum social life and few enriching hobbies, I seem to acquire DVDs at a much faster rate than I am capable of watching them. Like the books, I still have presents from the last Christmas but one that I haven't watched, not to mention stuff that I've bought on a whim.

On top of that, the stuff I've been recording onto my lovely hard-disc recorder (with built-in Freeview turner and multiregion DVD player-recorder - wave goodbye to your friends upon purchase) has been accumulating since I bought it three years ago. It has a capacity of 160GB, and I have to watch almost everything I record as I record it to avoid running out of space. My long-term plan is to replace all that is on there with lovely DVDs, but I still have to get through the pile that I have now. You can imagine how this might vex me.

This is where my logician's training kick in. I have to approach this problem with an organisational mind, and start drawing up a plan. No, better yet - an algorithm.

First, divide everything into separate groups. OK, done. Now criteria for what goes when. OK, that's done too. Let's start with the hard drive.

Everything on there divides into two categories: stuff to watch and stuff to keep. To make sure there's a minimum of space, make sure that there's enough room for all recordings up to the end of tomorrow. That's the priority. Now we've got our first line.

1 Is there enough space on the hard drive for everything up to the end of tomorrow? If no, watch until there is. If yes, go to 2.

This bit's a bit trickier (nice broad vocabulary there). The majority of DVDs split into two piles. One is for replacements of recordings or completion of series I've started, and the other is for other gifts and things I've bought on the spur of the moment. At the top of the first pile are Doctor Who DVDs, because obviously they have priority. My idea was to watch an episodes every day over breakfast, but I'm a bit behind. This goes next.

2 Are you behind with the Doctor Who Original Series DVDs? If yes, watch until you aren't. If no, go to 3.

The other stuff from the first pile I save for non-work nights - Friday and Saturday, unless there's a bank holiday. I'll watch films in one go, but if it's a series I might break off. So this should come next.

3. Are you partway through something from the rest of the pile? If yes, finish that. If no, go to 4.

Next the stuff I record to keep. But this is dependent on the day of the week.

4. Is it a work night? If yes, go to 5. If no, go to 6.

5. Is there anything recorded to keep and unwatched? If yes, watch that. If no, go to 7.

Now, here's the part where I start to get really arbitrary. My main pile of discs is stacked next to my stereo, and it's an age-old rule that I'm only allowed to buy new discs from the "replacing stuff" list when the top of pile is lower than the top of the tape deck. But there's also the question of the New Series Doctor Who stuff - which for the sake of convenience includes Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures, and which I'm also behind with. Let's have that on weeknights.

Then there's the question of the other pile. That divides rather neatly into films and TV series. Let's have the TV series on weeknights and the films at weekends. There's also the limit of one film a night at weekends. I need my sleep in order to dream up bizarre choose-your-own-adventure algorithms.

6. Is the top of the pile below the level of the tape deck? If no, watch the next disc on that pile. If yes, watch the next disc from the other pile. Then go to 8.

7. Are there any New Series Doctor Who DVDs on the main pile? If yes, watch the next episodes. If no, watch the next episodes of the series on the other pile. Then go to 8.

I remember this... It's called...
something like... "outdoors".

Of course, I like to pay full attention to what I'm watching if it's a proper release, so if I've got all the way through that and it still isn't bedtime or I'm off sick or just plain lonely, there's a small pile of "other" discs, either freebies or odd, unsolicited gifts - including an Austrian coming-of-age film sent to by my mother's Bavarian penpal. So those come last.

8. Anything in the slush pile? If yes, watch that. If no, go outside and get some fresh air for Christ's sake.

Hmm, I really need a girlfriend, don't I?